哈佛外教Katie分享留学文书写作三大技巧

一份好的文书，似乎是申请中最关键的材料之一。它能否准确展现甚至放大你的优点，给招生官留下“这是我们要找的人”的第一印象，并为你的申请添砖筑瓦呢？到底怎样的文书才是名校招生官青睐而又百看不厌的呢？本文分享来自哈佛的Katie给大家带来文书写作的三大技巧。

技巧1、Focus your essay

在撰写个人陈述时，大部分同学可能会倾向于详细地向招生委员会展示你的全部技能，经验和成就，而在写作中则应该避免这种倾向。你的经历和成就招生官可以通过简历来了解，有效的个人陈述应该突出重点。它不仅应该明确说明对这个学习领域感兴趣的理由，而且应该帮助招生官将你认识为一个特别的独立的个体。详细写一些个人经验向招生官展示你的个性，并帮助他们了解你的学习兴趣是如何随着时间的推移加深。

It is tempting when writing a personal statement to try and detail every achievement you have had to show the admissions committee the full range of your skills and experience. Avoid this temptation, and let the reader refer to your resume or CV for a chronological list of your experiences. An effective personal statement is focused. It should not only clearly articulate why you are interested in your field of study, but should help the reader get to know you as an individual. Write in detail about a few formative experiences that will show the reader your personality, and that help tell the story of how your interest in your field of study has deepened over time.

我曾经编辑的一篇学生论文特别关注两个主题：1.她是如何逐渐走出她的舒适区的; 2.走出舒适区域是如何帮助她以更开放的态度拥抱世界。首先，她详细描述了青少年时期在重组家庭中生活是一个“尝试融入的漫长过程”，她最终通过理解和认识她的继父克服这个过程。然后她介绍了在国际化的工作和学习如何扩大了她的世界观，并帮助她看到差异带来的价值。最后，她将这些经验与她的学习目标联系起来，指出她已做好准备在严格的国际化学术环境中自我成长。她也相信作为来自中国的学生，她将成为多元化学校社区的重要组成部分。

One student’s essay I edited did this particularly well by focusing on two themes: 1. how she has gradually stepped outside of her comfort zone; and 2. How stepping outside her comfort zone has helped her embrace the world with a more open attitude. First she details how living with a blended family as an adolescent was “a long process of trying to fit in,” which she ultimately overcame by empathizing with and getting to know her step father. She then describes how experiences working and studying internationally widened her worldview and helped her see the value of people’s differences. Finally she connects these experiences to her goal of advanced study by noting that they have prepared her to thrive in a rigorous, international academic environment and given her confidence that as a student from China she will be an essential part of a diverse school community.

技巧2、Connect disparate experience

突出重点的个人陈述并不是一件容易的事情，你可能会觉得你最想写的东西与你想要的学习领域没有明确的联系。这没关系。在你的个人陈述中，不要回避你最感兴趣的经历，因为这会使你与其他申请人区别开来。相反，要让招生官明白这些经验是如何帮助你实现目标和增长实力。我们从我们所做的事情中学习。这样的事情不仅包括强化我们对自己和世界的想法的事情，更包括了让我们质疑自己的信仰和目标的事情。

Focusing a personal statement is not an easy task, and you might feel that the experiences you would most like to write about aren’t clearly connected to your intended field of study. This is okay. In your personal statement do not shy away from the experiences you feel most passionate about and that will best set you apart from other applicants because they seem disparate or unconnected. Instead, take on the challenge of connecting for the reader how these experiences have indeed contributed to your goals and strengths as an individual. We learn from everything we do, not just the experiences that reinforce our ideas about ourselves and the world, but oftentimes much more so from the experiences that make us question our beliefs and future goals. 

一名申请加入公共政策学院的学生在个人陈述中写了一些看似不同的专业和志愿者的经历。她/他叙述了自己在北京的一家私营出版公司的工作，在斯里兰卡贫穷地区学校的志愿服务，以及在美国作为一名留学生的经历，这个学生的成就似乎与她的学习公共政策的愿望并不相关。然而，在整个过程中，这位申请者描述了这些经历如何让她了解世界各地的基础教育，并开始关注基于阶级的教育质量的巨大差距。正如申请人在引言部分所写的那样：“当我回顾这些经历时，我意识到贫富差距在基础教育方面的差距，以及自己对使用公共政策工具和解决方案来缩小教育差距的热情。”

One student, who was applying for admission into a school of public policy, wrote in her personal statement about a number of seemingly dissimilar professional and volunteer experiences. From working in a private sector publishing firm in Beijing, to volunteering in a poor Sri Lankan school, to studying as an international student in the United States, this student’s achievements did not seem obviously connected to her desire to study policy. Throughout the course of the essay, however, this applicant described how each of these experiences informed her understanding of basic education around the world, and opened her eyes to the vast disparity in the access to and the quality of education based on class. As the applicant writes in the introductory paragraph, “As I reflected on these experiences I realized the extent of the gap between rich and poor in basic education as well as my passion for using public policy tools and solutions to narrow the educational attainment gap.”

技巧3、Illustrate with details

除了在个人陈述中突出重点以及在你的经历之间建立联系之外，有效的个人陈述还会使用大量的个人信息。使用细节可以帮助显示你所描述的经验和成就如何促进了你对学习的热情，你的领导能力以及你在特定领域学习的欲望。例如，与其在写你的国际化学习环境以及认识了很多新的朋友，不如描述你是如何克服在国外为自己建立新的关系网所感受到的恐惧，以及你通过这种经历了解了怎样的自己。能够提供具体的细节而不是广泛的概括性语言的申请者向招生委员会展示了他们独特的个性和视角。

In addition to focusing your essay and making connections among your experiences, an effective personal statement uses plenty of personal details. Using details can help show, not tell, how the experiences and accomplishments you are writing about have contributed to your passion for learning, your leadership skills, and your desire to pursue study in a specific field. For example, instead of noting that you studied internationally and met many new people, describe the feeling of studying internationally for the first time. How did you overcome the intimidation you might have felt to make a community for yourself in a foreign country?What specifically did you learn about yourself through this experience? Applicantswho are able to provide specific details, instead of broad generalizations, demonstrate to the admissions committee their unique personality and perspective. 

一个学生在文书中通过描述她在本科学习期间的交换生经历。她举了一个回答同学对中国的疑问，以及帮助他们更了解中国的例子。她写到：“在威斯康星大学麦迪逊分校的一个关于大学教育话题的课上，我分享了在中国我们如何通过死记硬背和固定的模板来学习英语。同时我也介绍了学生为高考而努力的事迹。之后，许多同学来到我的面前告诉我我的故事改变了他们对中国的看法。许多人以前对中国的内政事务几乎没有兴趣，但是我的故事让他们开始感兴趣，并且让他们将自己对中国的所知与我的故事联系起来。

One student in particular did this by describing her experience as a foreign exchange student during her undergraduate study in terms of what she felt her classmates were able to learn from her. She gave specific examples of the questions students asked her, and the topics about China that she helped them understand. In this students’ own words: “[At the University of Wisconsin-Madison] in a class about college education, I shared how in China we are taught to learn English through rote memorization and by writing in fixed templates. As a result, I told my classmates, young people often struggle to pass college entrance examinations. Afterwards, many fellow students came and talked to me, noting that my story had changed their perception of China. Additionally, many shared that previously they had little interest in Chinese domestic affairs, but hearing the story of an individual intrigued them and made them think of connections between my own story and their own lives and education.”

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