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Statement of Purpose范文解析

发布时间:2021-11-17 13:28:11 阅读:1002 作者:博远教育 字数:2944 字 预计阅读时间:7分钟
导读:如何写出一篇能突出你特质又具有说服力的StatementofPurpose?本文即为大家找出一篇StatementofPurpose范文,以案例为大家解析写作SOP时具体需要把握的要点。

如何写出一篇能突出你特质又具有说服力的Statement of  Purpose?本文即为大家找出一篇Statement of  Purpose范文,以案例为大家解析写作SOP时具体需要把握的要点。

目的陈述范文

Sample Statement Of Purpose -  Business Mangement Ph.D.Example Essay

目的陈述范文——商业管理博士申请示例

Paragraph 1-2

I am applying for admission to the Ph.D. program in Business Administration because I want a career in the research and teaching of management. In particular, I am interested in factors that affect the competitive performance of a business concern, and the manner in which changes in technology affect an organisation's structure, long-term business strategy, product development, manufacturing, supply chains, distribution network, information needs and standard systems. In order to gain an appreciation of these and related issues, it is essential for me to have a strong grounding in Economics, Supply Chain Management, and issues connected with Information Technology, as well as gain a General Management perspective.

第一段点评:如果能用几句话来表达你的野心,这就是你想要的开头了。毕竟很多文章都是以陈词滥调或从自己童年的回忆开始。

然而下一行的落点就有点奇怪了。有几句话是关于“影响……的因素”,然后是关于“技术变化的影响”的长篇大论,其实基本上所有的描述都是关于“an organisation”。即使你不是商科专业人士也会觉得这里有点混乱,因为同一句里混合了互不相关的想法,这导致陈述变得相当不平衡。

I believe that the Ph.D. program in Business Administration (with concentration in Management) would be invaluable in helping me achieve these objectives. It would enable me to channel my quantitative and conceptual skills in analysing business issues and would open up new avenues in research. Subsequent to earning a Ph.D., I would like to apply for a faculty position at a leading university; and investigate issues concerned with technology as it affects organisation strategy, structure and systems.

第二段点评:请注意这一段对作者在文章第一行中阐述的职业目标的衔接十分紧密。但如果不想听起来自命不凡,关于“..让我(enable).. 引导(channel).. 定量(quantitative)......”的陈述稍后还需提供一些强有力的材料支持。

Paragraph 3-4

I believe that my background in engineering and management has prepared me for such a career. I have found research fascinating since my engineering days, where I received the highest marks in the Department for my final-year undergraduate dissertation; and was judged to have presented the best paper at a Departmental seminar. My four years of engineering education have provided me with a strong grounding in mathematics (I stood first in my Department for each of the four Math papers) and the theoretical aspects of technology.

第三段点评:说明所获的荣誉和成就是了解一个人学术生涯细节的一种谨慎的方式,一般这些细节应该出现在简历上。但太多的申请者喜欢仅仅罗列成就而不解释它们如何影响自己的学术或职业生涯。所以如果你不在这方面花心思,那可能会徒劳无功。

I joined ABC Business School in order to broaden my perspective and to improve my career prospects. Economics and psychology-subjects new to me-were interesting, and I enjoyed applying quantitative and conceptual skills to analyze business problems. I did very well in projects, desk research, workshops and class discussion, although academically I did not perform to my satisfaction (I finished with a GPA of 2.91, partly due to health reasons). I was voted as one of the ten most promising students in my batch, and received a national-level award for the best business school project, awarded by the Institute of Management Consultants of India. This was for a summer project, entitled "Formulation and Implementation of a Marketing Strategy for HandiCrafts, a unit of the Special Person’s Association".

第四段点评:作者上面所说的这个屡获殊荣的项目充满了未实现的承诺。而且学校想寻找对社会做出贡献的申请者,补充志愿(公益)组织如何需要现代(企业)管理技术(或者相反——企业需要向NGO组织学习)的说明可能会增加一些价值。

另外对于GPA较低的解释是不太恰当的,此类问题可以在申请材料中作为附加说明,在这里,它反而会让文章原本积极的基调变得消极。

Paragraph 5-6

Upon graduating from business school I was offered a job with AZ & Co., a management consulting firm which ranks as among India’s largest. This is where I learned how to apply the principles and lessons of management to real life. It was fascinating; and transformed my interest in management research into a passion. I read extensively, trying to keep myself informed about management thinking in my areas of work - structure and systems in an industry and organisation, industrial marketing and strategy.

第五段点评:如果申请者想在语法上冒险,最好有相应的指导。像,“……迷人(fascinating);和…’并不能很好的融合。同时,注意这里的表述是如何变得个人化的——“兴趣转化为热情”,虽然听起来有点老套,但确实有效。

I have learnt a lot on my present job. With the rest of my team, I have analysed markets and examined supply and distribution networks for such diverse products and industries as bulk chemicals, fresh fruit exports, toys, packaging machinery, retailing, adhesives, diamonds and pharmaceuticals. I have helped formulate entry strategies, plans for expansion and diversification; and also company business plans. As part of a team, I have carried out preliminary feasibility studies; compared technology options; suggested to the Forex Bank of India, a plan for improving the export competitiveness of India's Chemicals Sector; and studied government schemes for their efficacy. I have studied in detail the organisation structure and systems for one of India's largest manufacturers of automobiles and helped in the restructuring of the company as well as the redesigning of their new systems.

第六段点评:我们通常建议求职者把大部分确凿的事实和细节放在简历中,不过放在这里也无伤大雅,但是要适当浓缩,作者所从事产品和行业的多样性可以用更少的语言来表达。此外,当作者提到重新设计新系统时犯了一个小错误,这种错误不致命,但需要在编辑的时候xiu修正。

Paragraph 7-8

These assignments have involved interaction with people at all levels of the value chain, and at organisational levels from the Chairman of a $ 200 million firm to a packing clerk earning $1 daily. They have given me the opportunity to interview a number of policy makers, industry analysts and economists in an effort to understand the functioning of, and important issues connected with, each of these industries.

第七段点评:这部分证明了第3段的细节,而且做得很好。

All this has given me valuable insights into the environment in which companies operate - how they affect this environment and are affected by it. It has enabled me to observe some of the better and worse ways of running a business. Certain assignments have been thought provoking; my most recent assignment, on the redesigning of a company's structure and systems, helped me understand the necessity of good organisation structures, and appreciate the significance of systems that work well. A study on the export competitiveness of India's chemicals sector brought home to me the importance of technology in determining a company's or industry's competitiveness. An assignment involving the evaluation of an air freight subsidy scheme for exporters of fresh fruits raised fundamental questions in my mind about the efficacy of subsidies in improving the competitiveness of an industrial sector, and encouraged me to look at more lasting measures instead.

第八段点评:在任何领域你都应该展示你独特的经历,更重要的是,你从中学到了什么。作者这里处理得很巧妙,列举了她是如何与公司的不同阶层互动以及这如何塑造了她对生活的看法。

津贴(subsidies)的有效性部分说明了作者准备思考的问题,也很好地与当前国际上对津贴的看法相吻合。另一方面,如果你申请的是古巴卡尔·马克思大学(Karl Marx University of Cuba),可能需要修改表达这些观点的方式(即应结合申请学校的社会制度或相应政策来谈)。

Paragraph 9-10

The time limitation on each assignment has taught me to plan well, work systematically and keep my reports up-to-date. At the same time, having to defend my analyses and recommendations, during both internal discussions and presentations to clients, has taught me to think rigorously and creatively. Our extensive use of computers for analysis and preparation of presentations and reports has made me familiar with spreadsheet, word processing and presentation packages.

第九段点评:这段话很好地从商业角度阐述了作者的经历。但还要建议她留意那些在行业中被认为是必须的技能。在过去的几年里,熟练使用电子表格(Excel)等基本工具已经过时了。记住,虽然这样的失误并不一定会毁掉一篇文章,但在这个阶段,你也不想让文章的质量有所下降,此类表达就是那种应该在编辑的时候就删掉的句子。

While the highly diverse nature of assignments has helped me gain a broad exposure to Indian industry, it has not been possible for me to study specific business and technology - related issues in depth. I realise that in order to be able to do so, I need a better understanding of the various facets of management; the interlinkages between different functional areas and between different business entities. Equally important, I need further training in research methodology.

第十段点评:这个部分是表达你想从所申请的大学获得什么的理想方式。

Paragraph 11-12

I want to do a Ph.D. at the College of Business, XYZ University for many reasons. I have heard about XYZ's Ph.D. program in Business Administration from my business school professors and am impressed with the emphasis placed on technical and analytical skills, general management orientation and rigorous research methodology. The School's strengths in supply chain management and information management are commensurate with my research interests. The faculty's reputation for excellent teaching, challenging coursework and the excellent facilities are added attractions.

第十一段点评:虽然这篇文章的大部分内容都经过了严格的编辑,但这里的内容有些松散。注意最后一句中“excellent”的重复。另外,“相称的(commensurate)”在这里用得不太准确。

While the study of and research in management is my prime objective today, my interests in literature, music, travel and nature help me maintain a sense of perspective in life. I like to write and have had some articles published in Indian newspapers. I have organized and participated in a number of extra-curricular activities during my college days and have won university and national level prizes in debating, writing and quizzes. I also believe that each of us must give something back to society - to this end, I have worked on a voluntary basis for the Hunger Project for a year; as a teacher and counselor to physically and mentally handicapped children for three years; and as a reader to blind students. Today, I contribute to a local organisation that focuses on the environment of my hometown, Allahabad.

十二段点评:关于课外活动本可以更早更自然地写进去,但在文章将要收尾处加上那些陈词滥调(我们每个人……对社会而言),效用就被削弱了,如果放在文章前面就会更有锋芒。

Paragraph 13

I hope that the admissions committee finds my background and strengths commensurate with the requirements of XYZ's Ph.D. program in Business Administration.

第十三段点评:如果作者删除前一段,那么这一段的影响力会更大。此外,我们认为,将你的才能和对大学的适合度与他们对学生的需求联系起来,将是一个更好的策略,毕竟学校希望未来的班级具有多样性和不同的体验。所以,在这里简短地提到他们是如何需要你的不会有什么坏处。

Summary 总结

这篇文章无疑为作者提供了有力的论据。我们认为这篇文章为其他申请人树立了很好的榜样。

所有的“I”和“me”都让它带有个人色彩。' for me ', ' I believe ', ' enable me ', ' I would like ':这些都是所有写个人陈述的人应该大量使用的术语,尤其是当你在喋喋不休地说一堆“行话”的时候。读者很容易就会认为这些话是从行业杂志上抄袭来的,所以让每件事看起来都与个人有关是关键。然而,这仅仅是方法之一。

你必须有一些可靠的经验来支持这一点。如果看起来这辈子除了看电视你什么都不做,那么说“根据我的经验,员工赋权有助于企业发挥核心竞争力”是无法说服任何人的。

这篇文章也说明了你需要如何全方位地展现自己,尤其是当你申请管理项目的时候,与学校所信奉的主流思潮保持联系是有好处的。虽然我们中的许多人可能都有相关的社会经历,但在申请在意这些经历的学校时,需要机智地、有技巧地突出这些经历。

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